And....again!

Yes Yes ppls, I know you're all shaking fists and muttering and generally wondering why I've not been regularly lightening up your lives with humour (at my expense ofcourse, thank you very much)..but have a heart no? I just got out of hospital remember?..And whether it took care of my other ailments or not, it definitely put my sense of humour and general gaiety (no..not like that, am straight) in quarantine!!

So(drumrolllllll),Laddis and Gentlemans, with renewed vigour and double enthu I present to you fully recovered, doubly whacked Suha!!!!(Applause, confetti, etc etc...)

Am still trying to set up my now not so nice and devoid of previously unnecessarily endowed charms house. Infact, now that I think of it calmly, and put the fact that if not for this house, I'd be rotting in a PG somewhere, with restrictions on everything from timings to the kind of Deo I used aside, I wonder why I decided to live alone in the first place. One has hajaar things to take care of, and only one poor (literally) tiny moi. Yes, I did get the hike.....but I very stupidly also upped my budget for rent no, which saw to it that effectively..there is no hike!!! Plus, it is my house now, so if it doesn't look respectable enough, I have no messy roomies around to blame it on, no unconcerned shit of a landlord to fall back on, meaning I have no recourse but for it to reflect badly on my skill at keeping house. Which ,in turn, means all my efforts at trying to prove very hard to some people that I am, in reality, wife material, go down the drain. Why ? Because all this while, I had the convenient excuse that I have not been able to let such skills as required to be the unquestioned wife of all wives come to the fore only because of aforementioned roomies, landlords and other such tragedies.

And, while I go about, introducing my as yet latent and later realise very reluctant wifely self to the world, unbeknownst to me, dark forces that are determined to not let one thing pass without merrily adding a hitch here and a bump there, get to work. No such thing as an easy life I tell you!!

What you might ask are those merry hitches and bumps??? Yes, I know you're thinking you shouldn't have asked, but you did,and what you ask, the good Lord, and in this case I giveth. First, the bathroom. The one place where a person seeks refuge from the brutalities of reality, where if nothing else, the sheer pleasure of taking a dump in peace envelopes you, where even a hurried shower is a time for deep if truncated speculation on one's purpose on earth. Who wouldn't want a such a place filled with the nicest accessories, colour co-ordinated buckets and mugs and shower gels, not to forget, contrasting plastic jhadoos, toilet brush etc. I am a mere mortal wont to give in to such temptations and give in I do; extravagantly at that. And that my friends, is just the first bit of shopping for the day, and the beginning of my undoing. Not to be left behind, the kitchen, the one room that was largely inactive in previous places of accomodation screams for attention. As if in response, shining cookers, and dinner sets, and strainers and provisons seem to jump out at me from shelves that have been subjected to neglect by yours truly for years. And me being the ever so kind to the needy, the one with the large heart(and not yet realised, but not so large pockets) cannot take those plaintive wails from those shelves anymore. In typical hindi phillum ishtyle, I rush from one aisle to another, picking up long lost childhood friends arhar daal, moong dal, call it what you will dal, rice, butter, cheese, assorted knives, tea, anything that comes with free containers, assorted masalas, including ones I might never end up using but bought anyway owing to those plaintive wails. A pat on my back at being able to effectively have a smoothly functioning house in a few hours from now, and I proudly walk to the billing counter.

If you're wondering about the other rooms, well, I only have two more. The drawing room and the bedroom, which are both pretty decently furnished with all that is needed except for non-essentials like showpieces and the like. Anyway, doing away with digression, the billing starts and so does the ruining of my bank balance. What was I ? A bloody ignorant moron? What my parents, or for that matter anybody's parents must have achieved over say a year, or three months atleast, I wanted to outdo in one day??? As I saw my bill rise way over what my conscience and more importantly survival could take, I fought a very bitter battle with my pride and general state of happiness at having an unbare house, and lost. Lost both my chance at redemption and a huge chunk of what otherwise would have placed me very comfortably till next payday. All one day after my salary got credited.