Sistersick :((((((
Parents decided to surprise sister; gifted her a cellphone. Had called me for expert opinion, and then decided to dump it in the garbage and go right ahead with exactly what I had advised against. All that apart, had asked to be on the phone while giving it to sis, and this is how it went:
Sis: "This is for me???" (can imagine slightly rounder eyes on face)
Mom, dad and (me(from the other end of country on phone)):
"Yes baby!"
Sis: " Really???" (slightly highpitched voice now)
(to me now) "Akka, I think ammam chinni have bought me a cellhpone(in an awed voice)"
Sis(after finally opening box) : "THAAAANK YOU!!!!" (in a voice people sitting in the front in my cab can hear)
Me: (goofy smile on face..no words..too overcome by emotion just imagining the look on sister's face. )
..........................................
Seems like today's going to be nothing but "thoughts of sister" day! Wandering through the endless links on blogs, stumbled upon one that goes into remebering sister mode..and here I am, eyes misting over, thinking of what I left behind, cursing myself for not having the guts to walk away from this and go back home., to a little baby sister I left behind.
Still remember the day my little angel was born, we'd gotten transferred in the ninth month of mummy's pregnancy and with her labour starting on the train, went straight to the maternity hospital from the station. While now i retrospect, I wonder how mom managed being in labour for seven days, all I could think of then, was my little sister(I'd been praying for a sister and was confident god wouldn't let me down) and what I would do once she was actually here. I'd go to the doctor there everyday and whine about all the other aunties who'd come in after us, and she had given them their babies, and wasn't giving me my sister.
Finally, on the day ammam was actually taken into the OT, daddy and I were sitting outside, waiting for the Doc to come so dad could go in with her to be with mummy. When the doc did come however, it was not to call my father but me. Don't rememeber much of what happened later, except that I was looking at a sqealing, tiny little thing, covered in white muck, with a strange tube attached to what looked like its stomach, and then it stopped squealing, looked right at me, just for a nanosecond, and I knew i was in love, with the one person who would mean everything to me , who would be the apple of my eye :))) It was only later I realised how lucky I was, I had gotten to see my sister before anyone else(who mattered atleast), mummy was as good as blind without her glasses, daddy didn't get to be with mom inside, and when I did see her, it was even before she was cleaned. A chance very few seven year olds get ever. And I'm grateful to the doc who made it happen.
Mother's entire left side was paralysed soon after sister was born, so except for feeding her, daddy and I with the help of neighbours did most of looking after her, so its not surprising that instead of the more sisterly relationship fraught with fights and hair pulling, we've had a kind of mother-daughter one. My mom even calls me her foster mother at times.
Over the years though, as she grew older, we did have our fair share of fights. Somewhere down the line, as adolescence first showed up, I decided it was time she had someone she could look upto, not as a much older person, closer to a mother, but someone she could confide in, let her hair down with, be friends with. It was my bit towards making growing up easier on her, so she would know of the pitfalls she might face, but also be secure in knowing that I'd be there for her, and if ever she needed a go between, I was there...to smoothen out anything that might crop up between parents and her. What I did not realise though, was that my sister was far more mature than me in a lot of ways, and she taught me much more than I'd imagined she could. I can only hope that as she grows older, she has picked up something nice from me, learnt a little from my mistakes so she doesn't have to step on the thorns I did, and if she does, that I am there to pave the rest of the path with roses as best as I can.
When I left home a little more than a year ago, I looked forward to all the new things I would learn, not knowing that I would yearn for the comfort of home so often. Neither did I imagine how much my little princess would have grown by the time I saw her again. Everytime I speak to her, and more importantly, everytime I see her, I realise how much of her growing up I've missed. Every single day makes her a little older, a little wittier, a little wiser and everything that I wanted for her is happening but I am not there to share it with her, to revel in the sheer joy of watching her face break into a smile while waking up (or secretly smile at the grumpily grumbling face that greets us most mornings).
What I would not do to be with her every single day, to watch her grow up into the beautiful young woman that I know she will; but would I go back home???? I ask myself that question everyday, and every single time the the answer is a NO. Why you might ask..and all I can say is..(well i can say a lot..but for now.. ) I think I appreciate family better from a distance. And as for my sister, I know she'll be alright without my sagely presence. We've got a wonderful set of parents and after all I turned out ok didn't I?
Sis: "This is for me???" (can imagine slightly rounder eyes on face)
Mom, dad and (me(from the other end of country on phone)):
"Yes baby!"
Sis: " Really???" (slightly highpitched voice now)
(to me now) "Akka, I think ammam chinni have bought me a cellhpone(in an awed voice)"
Sis(after finally opening box) : "THAAAANK YOU!!!!" (in a voice people sitting in the front in my cab can hear)
Me: (goofy smile on face..no words..too overcome by emotion just imagining the look on sister's face. )
..........................................
Seems like today's going to be nothing but "thoughts of sister" day! Wandering through the endless links on blogs, stumbled upon one that goes into remebering sister mode..and here I am, eyes misting over, thinking of what I left behind, cursing myself for not having the guts to walk away from this and go back home., to a little baby sister I left behind.
Still remember the day my little angel was born, we'd gotten transferred in the ninth month of mummy's pregnancy and with her labour starting on the train, went straight to the maternity hospital from the station. While now i retrospect, I wonder how mom managed being in labour for seven days, all I could think of then, was my little sister(I'd been praying for a sister and was confident god wouldn't let me down) and what I would do once she was actually here. I'd go to the doctor there everyday and whine about all the other aunties who'd come in after us, and she had given them their babies, and wasn't giving me my sister.
Finally, on the day ammam was actually taken into the OT, daddy and I were sitting outside, waiting for the Doc to come so dad could go in with her to be with mummy. When the doc did come however, it was not to call my father but me. Don't rememeber much of what happened later, except that I was looking at a sqealing, tiny little thing, covered in white muck, with a strange tube attached to what looked like its stomach, and then it stopped squealing, looked right at me, just for a nanosecond, and I knew i was in love, with the one person who would mean everything to me , who would be the apple of my eye :))) It was only later I realised how lucky I was, I had gotten to see my sister before anyone else(who mattered atleast), mummy was as good as blind without her glasses, daddy didn't get to be with mom inside, and when I did see her, it was even before she was cleaned. A chance very few seven year olds get ever. And I'm grateful to the doc who made it happen.
Mother's entire left side was paralysed soon after sister was born, so except for feeding her, daddy and I with the help of neighbours did most of looking after her, so its not surprising that instead of the more sisterly relationship fraught with fights and hair pulling, we've had a kind of mother-daughter one. My mom even calls me her foster mother at times.
Over the years though, as she grew older, we did have our fair share of fights. Somewhere down the line, as adolescence first showed up, I decided it was time she had someone she could look upto, not as a much older person, closer to a mother, but someone she could confide in, let her hair down with, be friends with. It was my bit towards making growing up easier on her, so she would know of the pitfalls she might face, but also be secure in knowing that I'd be there for her, and if ever she needed a go between, I was there...to smoothen out anything that might crop up between parents and her. What I did not realise though, was that my sister was far more mature than me in a lot of ways, and she taught me much more than I'd imagined she could. I can only hope that as she grows older, she has picked up something nice from me, learnt a little from my mistakes so she doesn't have to step on the thorns I did, and if she does, that I am there to pave the rest of the path with roses as best as I can.
When I left home a little more than a year ago, I looked forward to all the new things I would learn, not knowing that I would yearn for the comfort of home so often. Neither did I imagine how much my little princess would have grown by the time I saw her again. Everytime I speak to her, and more importantly, everytime I see her, I realise how much of her growing up I've missed. Every single day makes her a little older, a little wittier, a little wiser and everything that I wanted for her is happening but I am not there to share it with her, to revel in the sheer joy of watching her face break into a smile while waking up (or secretly smile at the grumpily grumbling face that greets us most mornings).
What I would not do to be with her every single day, to watch her grow up into the beautiful young woman that I know she will; but would I go back home???? I ask myself that question everyday, and every single time the the answer is a NO. Why you might ask..and all I can say is..(well i can say a lot..but for now.. ) I think I appreciate family better from a distance. And as for my sister, I know she'll be alright without my sagely presence. We've got a wonderful set of parents and after all I turned out ok didn't I?
Comments
Thanks for stopping by. Its seven yrs..to be more precise 7 yrs, 2 months and 1 day ;-) its not mym ost memorable day for nothing.
Nice post.