Life takes turns so different from what we expect it to that now dreaming, planning for a tomorrow seems futile. When one painstakingly builds a palace, carefully placing one block on another...each moment, each incident laminated with the finest anti ageing film that one can find in their minds..just seeing all of it crumble takes away any desire to rebuild..to crumble proof again. In spite of that, we miss the changes that we go through as people in the everyday melee that we call living a life.....in spite of the weight that settles on our shoulders as each day goes by, as our dreams sink more and more into nothingness, we fail to notice how much we stoop, how much more we stagger under that deadweight daily.

I've never been much of a chronicler. I could recount incidents from memory..but have no account as such of the 24 years of my life..not in any amount of detail. Even then, this blog in some ways points to the change that has crept in slowly over the last two years. It shows in the tone of my writing, in the progression of my posts...and it hurts me today...

I look back a year and see a progression in the darkness that has come to define what I write....its the last thing I wanted...I want my writing to be happy..bubbly..full of colour..but ithout the energy..I ended up only writing in tones of gray...

But it also shows how much better I feel sometimes..and that I am grateful for..that my today seems to hold possibilities that will be filled with hope..the good clean kind of hope..and I look forward to writing in colours again :)

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