Me?
I itch to write...atleast once a day i peep in here..look around a bit, start stringing words together...and then poof...the thoughts, the so eloquently composed sentences, stories..they all vanish. All that's left behind is the throbbing, the desire, its like a hunger..i just have nothing to feed it..to satiate my own need to write, to let it flow..out from my head onto the screen.
My mind is a mystery that is so locked to me, that it is a wonder others can fathom even a little of it...there's too much going on in too many places . Assimilating all those random thoughts, putting them in one place is such an exhausting effort that the process of then verbalising those thoughts in any way whatsoever seems too daunting a prospect to even pursue. But sometimes, rarer now than before, but there are times like those nevertheless...sometimes, however daunting the thought of putting words to feelings, the need overpowers, I have no option but to surrender and let my fingers do their job...most times I don't make any sense..not even to myself..but the act leaves me satisfied, it leaves me happy and in some ways much lighter.
When I started this blog, writing wasn't that difficult. It definitely wasn't easy for me to go from thought to action, but it was never so difficult. The gap between the thinking and writing was never more than a few days. Now however, due to too many things, not the least of which being my inability to put words to my thoughts, the gap is way too long.
I've always marvelled at the way some people seem to write freely about themselves, their pain, their happiness, their fears, their lives. I admire the ability to do that. To be able to tell random people about one's life. To find a place to vent , to open up, in a place that is reasonably private, but at the same time, a place where one can count on random strangers to relate.
When I started this blog, it was meant to be a light hearted account of my life....but over time, as I have retracted more into myself, so has this space...I'm trying to find that person again, the one who could write freely, who could write light stuff, who could get untangled from her mind enough to look outside for a bit..find the humour, the frustration, all of it in the world outside...I intend to find her soon as well...I just hope when I find her, I will still be able to be her....
My mind is a mystery that is so locked to me, that it is a wonder others can fathom even a little of it...there's too much going on in too many places . Assimilating all those random thoughts, putting them in one place is such an exhausting effort that the process of then verbalising those thoughts in any way whatsoever seems too daunting a prospect to even pursue. But sometimes, rarer now than before, but there are times like those nevertheless...sometimes, however daunting the thought of putting words to feelings, the need overpowers, I have no option but to surrender and let my fingers do their job...most times I don't make any sense..not even to myself..but the act leaves me satisfied, it leaves me happy and in some ways much lighter.
When I started this blog, writing wasn't that difficult. It definitely wasn't easy for me to go from thought to action, but it was never so difficult. The gap between the thinking and writing was never more than a few days. Now however, due to too many things, not the least of which being my inability to put words to my thoughts, the gap is way too long.
I've always marvelled at the way some people seem to write freely about themselves, their pain, their happiness, their fears, their lives. I admire the ability to do that. To be able to tell random people about one's life. To find a place to vent , to open up, in a place that is reasonably private, but at the same time, a place where one can count on random strangers to relate.
When I started this blog, it was meant to be a light hearted account of my life....but over time, as I have retracted more into myself, so has this space...I'm trying to find that person again, the one who could write freely, who could write light stuff, who could get untangled from her mind enough to look outside for a bit..find the humour, the frustration, all of it in the world outside...I intend to find her soon as well...I just hope when I find her, I will still be able to be her....
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