Moving On
After all those weeks of thrashing and twitching like a fish out of water, life has finally come to resemble some sort of placid rhythm.
No it's not all hunky dory, but neither am I overcome by a desire to break down into a huge lump of despair. But it has been more good than bad..this almost last one month. I have had bouts of squealing, stomach hurting laughter. Bouts that have lasted for a whole day. Bouts that have left me doubling over even when the memory of a joke flits across someone's face. This reaquaintance with unadulterated laughter, pure joy, has been refreshing. It feels like finding an oasis..and not just any oasis, it is one with fresh, sweet, cold water. Water that rejuvenates you with just one gulp, but leaves you wanting more, that makes you go that extra mile just so you could find one more gulp.
I have found happiness in my family, catching up not just perfunctorily, but having long, fun filled conversations. Cracking silly jokes on STD. I have found fulfillment at work. A new role, one that uses the best of my talents and fuels my interests. One that helps me come to office day in and day out with a smile on my face, with a skip in my gait.
It's as if for that one loss, the universe if sending all good things my way. As if my tears melted something in it's otherwise cold heart, and made it want to give me a break from the oh so tedious melancholy. And the best part is, I don't feel any more guilt, no more hesitation to go out and have a good time. So what if the heart's broken, that will mend. If I forget to enjoy myself, that is going to be a far greater loss. And I so so hope that this only gets better. It's all good for now :)
No it's not all hunky dory, but neither am I overcome by a desire to break down into a huge lump of despair. But it has been more good than bad..this almost last one month. I have had bouts of squealing, stomach hurting laughter. Bouts that have lasted for a whole day. Bouts that have left me doubling over even when the memory of a joke flits across someone's face. This reaquaintance with unadulterated laughter, pure joy, has been refreshing. It feels like finding an oasis..and not just any oasis, it is one with fresh, sweet, cold water. Water that rejuvenates you with just one gulp, but leaves you wanting more, that makes you go that extra mile just so you could find one more gulp.
I have found happiness in my family, catching up not just perfunctorily, but having long, fun filled conversations. Cracking silly jokes on STD. I have found fulfillment at work. A new role, one that uses the best of my talents and fuels my interests. One that helps me come to office day in and day out with a smile on my face, with a skip in my gait.
It's as if for that one loss, the universe if sending all good things my way. As if my tears melted something in it's otherwise cold heart, and made it want to give me a break from the oh so tedious melancholy. And the best part is, I don't feel any more guilt, no more hesitation to go out and have a good time. So what if the heart's broken, that will mend. If I forget to enjoy myself, that is going to be a far greater loss. And I so so hope that this only gets better. It's all good for now :)
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