Other tragedies
I decided to lose a little weight and found a place that said swimming center close to my house. All excited, I finally managed to move my ass and go investigating like 2 months after I saw the swimming center. Turns out it's a Slimming center!!! So much for my lovely eyes! All beauty and not of much use! So...no weight loss happening for me! To actually do something expressly for the purpose of losing weight? Which is really all that I want? Totally beneath me :-P
So then I went and joined dance classes. Life was all good, swinging and all that. And then my ankle gives up on me!! Something about prolonged abuse. What is this world coming to? With inanimate parts of one's body throwing legal jargon at oneself???!!! *Sob* Anyway..point being..weight loss? Not happening again!!!
And then I thought I'll like smoke a coupla extra cigarettes. Control the hunger pangs so to speak, and there's only one kind of hunger am referring to here. All you people with dirty dirty minds, you really need to invest in lots and lots of surf excel. So anyway, my throat decides to go all scratchy and old hag like; not good for someone who already dresses in cute pink to forget about the looming 30s. You know where this is going don;'t you???
Last ditch attempt, I think maybe a diet would be good. You know, not diet diet, because that would be so transparent, so not doable, but I could try and cut down sweets, decide that this is how many calories I would eat in a day. Good plan one would think no? I did too..and then life decided to spring a nasty one on me...again! A little bit of research showed I would need to limit my intake to around 1400 calories a day and I thought sadly..goodbye my icecream, and goodbye my rice and dal. Secretly pleased at having found a way to outdo determined life, I went and found a meal planner that would help me figure out how many calories I take currently, so I could complete my misery. And wouldn't you just know, my daily intake came to some 400 calories, when I strecthed it!!! So it turns out I am putting on weight not because I eat more than I am supposed to. No sirree...life would never be as simple as that for me!! Apparently, since I eat less than I am supposed to, my body stores all it gets since its gone into starvation mode. Which totally explains my initial weight loss when I was eating 3 meals a day when I moved back home. Go figure!!
And therefore, as I bid a tearful goodbye to my plans of a flat tummy and a smooth sculpted, even if a little truncated body, I plead to you, oh 4 readers of mine. Tell me, how do I lose weight now???!!!
So then I went and joined dance classes. Life was all good, swinging and all that. And then my ankle gives up on me!! Something about prolonged abuse. What is this world coming to? With inanimate parts of one's body throwing legal jargon at oneself???!!! *Sob* Anyway..point being..weight loss? Not happening again!!!
And then I thought I'll like smoke a coupla extra cigarettes. Control the hunger pangs so to speak, and there's only one kind of hunger am referring to here. All you people with dirty dirty minds, you really need to invest in lots and lots of surf excel. So anyway, my throat decides to go all scratchy and old hag like; not good for someone who already dresses in cute pink to forget about the looming 30s. You know where this is going don;'t you???
Last ditch attempt, I think maybe a diet would be good. You know, not diet diet, because that would be so transparent, so not doable, but I could try and cut down sweets, decide that this is how many calories I would eat in a day. Good plan one would think no? I did too..and then life decided to spring a nasty one on me...again! A little bit of research showed I would need to limit my intake to around 1400 calories a day and I thought sadly..goodbye my icecream, and goodbye my rice and dal. Secretly pleased at having found a way to outdo determined life, I went and found a meal planner that would help me figure out how many calories I take currently, so I could complete my misery. And wouldn't you just know, my daily intake came to some 400 calories, when I strecthed it!!! So it turns out I am putting on weight not because I eat more than I am supposed to. No sirree...life would never be as simple as that for me!! Apparently, since I eat less than I am supposed to, my body stores all it gets since its gone into starvation mode. Which totally explains my initial weight loss when I was eating 3 meals a day when I moved back home. Go figure!!
And therefore, as I bid a tearful goodbye to my plans of a flat tummy and a smooth sculpted, even if a little truncated body, I plead to you, oh 4 readers of mine. Tell me, how do I lose weight now???!!!
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