To the sound of groans? Or applause? :-D

So...am back! A year or more(?) of not writing. Not not wanting to write, but just..not writing. I'd been trying to figure out what it was that kept me from penning my thoughts down; and inspiration!! It was the theme! Daft I am I know..don't tell me..but it took me a year to figure out that the way the blog looked, all sad and droopy eyed was completely in contrast to the way I've been feeling. Everytime I looked at it, I couldn't get myself to write morose stuff, and I couldn't see myself writing sad, weepy, self involved (Ok, I take that back), but self pitying stories any more. So Voila...in step with the way my life has been..I present coffee(ey) Papoosh :-). I know that's not a word, but it is my blog you know. I can make my own words here :-D
And as a peace offering? No? Or something to make you feel better about the fact that my absence is not permanent after all? I knew that would work now..I present to you:
Crunchy Trippy Strawberries
Seriously? Since I've moved back home to Calcutta (somehow, Kolkata just doesn't sit right with me), I've been experimenting with liquor and cooking, and this one, as gross as it may sound, tastes like heaven. Now I've never liked strawberries much, and upon a little digging found out that noone in my 4 member strong family does. Why the brilliant idea of shelling out a bomb for strawberries hit my dad therefore eludes me. However, having bought, it seemed fruitless (:-P) to waste, and I tried to figure out something to make of them other than shortcake or some such which all require strawberries to be eaten as just strawberries. A not so appetising idea in my family. I may as well warn you, this is quite likely to taste like heaven just because of the amount of alcohol that goes into it! Totally my kind of dessert, sinful and trippy :-)

You Need:

• Strawberries (Duh!)
• Port Wine (If you cannot find port, use any red wine. Though the wine might end up costing far more than the strawberries then!)
• Castor Sugar
• Maida - 1 1/2 cups
• Milk - 1/2 cup
• Salt - A pinch
• Bournvita
• Oil to Fry

Method:

• Remove the top green hat (I know there's a technical term, but there's wine!! Please take note! ) from the strawberries, slit them in two and marinate in about 2 capfuls of wine. If you want them "wine-eyer", add all you want :-D
• In a bowl, mix maida, salt, milk until you have a batter that is about the consistency of cake batter. Add water, if it looks like there's too little milk. Or you know, you could add milk if you want it milkier.
• Once you have the batter ready, add castor sugar to make the batter just a little sweet and add more wine. More wine I say. U won't even know if it tastes too bad then :-D
• By now the strawberries should be marinated nicely. Remove the strawberries and drink the remaining wine. You have to do this. It is part of the recipe! You do not stray from the recipe!!
• In a plate, spread out bournvita.
• Heat oil in a kadhai.
• Roll each piece of strawberry in a little castor sugar, dip in batter and deep fry until you have golden brown fritters.
• Tap excess oil dry with tissue, roll in bournvita and serve.
• Feel all woozy and sweet :-)

Now I don't have any photos, considering they were all polished off by family including members who professed to a) not like fritters AND b) not like bournvita!!! Before I could pop more than two into my mouth at that!! But you have to trust me here and I know that's asking for a lot, they were simply amazing.

Now that you're sufficiently high and happy, you're not going to be groaning any more are you? See? I told you, it's a good thing am back :-D