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How we broke up and rebuilt our relationship : 7 rules that helped us build a solid marriage

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  Read it on Medium here   My husband and I have been married for more than a decade now and have been partners for almost double that. Today, we have a fairly solid marriage; meaning there are days we absolutely cannot stand each other but still manage to work like a well-oiled machine. And there are most of the other days where we know without a doubt that there is no one else we would rather spend our lives with. This well-oiled machine did not spring up overnight though. The drafts were made much before we even got married. Because much before we actually got married, we broke up. Much like a phoenix, we rose from the ashes. We crashed and burnt. But, we also rebuilt something from those ashes. We rebuilt a stronger relationship and ultimately our marriage.   The history When the man and I met, we were young, starry eyed and hopelessly in love. We moved quickly. Within a few months, we moved into a house and less than a year in, we moved cities so he could be closer to his family.
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Eyes, Eyes Baby - A throwback to young love

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Aah young love! It does not have the finesse and stability that comes with years of partnership. But, it more than makes up for it with it’s rush of hormones, with how it manages to gloss over all faults, with how it makes our hearts and eyes flutter. Remembering young love brings with it memories of youth, memories of why I chose my husband in the first place. Keeps me grounded when I want to throw in the towel. It is for this reason that I hold on to my impressions of our youth, our early days. On days that the man frustrates me so, on days when the years of domesticity feel dreary, harking back to these times reminds me that the sun shall shine, soon and gloriously ! Your eyes, They twinkle, Shine and sparkle, They tease and flirt, They crinkle with mirth, Your eyes , my love, Make me soar above. Your eyes Tell a story, Of pain so sorry, They tell me how, Under blow after blow, You stood your ground Refused to bow. Your eyes, my dearest, They fire in me a tempest. Your eyes, They gl
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Patience - A labour of love and endurance as I see it

  On a long weekend, as newly weds often do, I found some of the rose tint wearing off. Not being used to domesticity, the husband and I tried to find a rhythm to our oddly jarring gears. The whirring, the creaking, it took a while for us to get our marriage here; to the mostly well oiled machine it is now.  These lines, though,  are a throwback to more than a decade ago . Lines that flowed freely, a salve that soothed my burning angst. A testament to love, a testament to fortitude, a testament to a marriage that has taught me oodles of patience. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.   And you sit there And have the gall To accuse me Playing ball You say With your emotions A story that is as tall As you, or worse As deep As me. My supreme sacrifice In this, my silence Not one of my virtues you see, Grips me in a vise While you dribble Around, and fumble Reach out and snatch At words that refuse to latch Onto exactly what you would like To say. And still… I wa
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Don't Call Me Abandoned : A mother's Perspective

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 Prachi* closed her eyes, this was probably the 25th forward/post she had read in the last few days about a child’s “duty” towards its ageing parents. The usual lines about how parents gave up everything for you, the usual story lines about how the child, now an adult, realises how wrong he was to commit his mother/father to an old age home, the usual pulling at heartstrings; a guilt trip almost guaranteed. As she was putting her thoughts together, “Surprise” a familiar voice whispered into her ear as the most amazing arms in the world engulfed her. Tushar her son kissed the top of her head and Prachi beamed with joy at this unexpected visit. As they caught up on Tushar’s unexpected visit from abroad, he explained how he’d flown down for a few meetings and luckily they happened to be in the same city as her. He had moved some things around so was also able to take the day off. Excitedly, they made plans for the rest of the day and spent it going to some of their favourite places when
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14 reasons on our 14th

 My husband and I have seen 14 years together... Half of them married and more than four of them as parents. Each year, the reasons he gives me to love him only increase. So this year, on our 14th Valentine's day in this long journey of hopefully many many more  to come, I decided to count my blessings. In the humdrum of everyday, this definitely brought back many many smiles. Dearest husband, 1) I love how you try so hard to not laugh at my sad jokes but see you stifle that sneaky grin anyway 2) I love that I'm always someone to pamper as far as you're concerned... How you say.. "If not for my wife then who" 3) I love how when I'm at my most insecure as a mom, you will sit me down and let me know why I don't need to be worried 4) I love how you place your faith in me when it comes to the well being of your father and trust my intentions always. Thank you 5) I love your passion for things that make you go, read up, know everything on it possible and
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Murphy and Me!

  You know how Mr. Murphy shows you your place in the world ? Typically when you're standing in queues or stuck in traffic on days you JUST HAVE TO GET IT ALL DONE? I have come to the saddening realisation that Mr Murphy absolutely loves showering his attention on mommies. Ok. Maybe not all, but definitely me.When I got pregnant, while I was thrilled, I used to laugh off all my friends' valid concerns. Like how would I party late? Or how would I manage to keep up with my large social circle of all of 6 people. I had my plan down pat. Of course, it all started with me having a daughter. A daughter that would have her father wrapped around her little finger and who would prefer daddy darling over me any day.Come delivery, and my doctor hands me a fiesty, beautiful, absolutely adorable baby BOY! That's right a boy who has been mama's little shadow from day one. A boy who not only needed his mama over everyone else, he also ensured daddy wasn't too happy since he refuse
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What nobody told me about being a mother!

 September 6th 2012 . A day that turned our lives around forever. As with everything else in my life, my son's birth wasn't without it's own share of drama. That's another story for another time though. My first memory of those mothering instincts taking over was when I burst into angry sobs when I woke up a few hours after my c-section. There were a whole bunch of random people (also known as huband, father-in-law, mother and the like) who were crowded around MY baby. Oh I was angry all right. I did what any rational woman would. I cried. Loudly. I wailed about how I hadn't even had a chance to hold my baby yet and everyone had already started smelling and taking away his new baby smell. It ensured everyone was very careful about holding the baby from then on, more to appease the mom than anything else! That burst of possessiveness was something I was totally unprepared for. That is when I realised how one sided the resources you read while preparing for motherho
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Clickety Clack - Day 8

"It's time to up your game Shaoli. It's time to rock and roll" Shalini paid for the burger, picked up Shaoli's shopping and sauntered into the evening rush.  Shaoli's mind raced as she tried to think of a way, any way to let Vyas know what today held in store for him. Having given up after what seemed like ages, she realised they were home. Shalini had flung her (earrings) on the bed and Shaoli decided the view wasn't very interesting. Shalini had decided to really up the ante. She wore the new completely unShaoli like clothes they had picked up. Shaoli had to grudgingly admit Shalini did know how to do her body justice. She would never have imagined she could have looked that good. She oscillated between terribly wanting to be part of the evening and not wanting to have anything to do with it at all. She had no choice as Shalini decided to pick out a turquoise pair for the evening. Now that it seemed Shalini's purpose had been served,
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